Wobbles aren't always bad.

So as difficult as it is to be super open especially about personal issues, it's one of the reasons I started this blog to try and keep track of my experiences and developments while doing my nurse training.

For me that past few weeks have been pretty hard. I usually struggle at this time of the year with my dad having passed away on the 18th March, this year that was made more challenging by my grandmother passing away on the same date.

It's a difficult experience loosing anyone but it's particularly hard to stay focused and motivated on a career in nursing when you know that your going to be In hospital and see people deteriorate and possibly pass away and sometimes that's unavoidable. Any job in the health care sector will have you facing those situations though.

On top of this I had to move house a lot quicker than expected due to my landlord being in debt and the house being under a repossession order.

I had to take a few days off to attend the funeral and try and get myself together and the first day back at placement wad particularly difficult to get myself out of bed for.

It's funny really when we started the course everyone spoke a lot about the importance of ressilence and self awareness and at the time you think 'oh yeah.. Because your busy and multi tasking and responsibilities..' except it's all that and anything else going on personally, coupled with mental and physical tiredness. Placements and assignments at the same time.

It's hard..

But to me it helps that I can be a part of someone recovering from an illness or at the very least showing them compassion and controlling their pain at the end of their life. It also helps knowing that even after all of that o can go to placement and be soo busy it's actually chaos except controlled and organised and finishing the shift and getting everything done feels like you've scaled a mountain. The staff I have worked with both before and after starring my nurse training have been role models to me and that goes a long way to keeping me motivated.

I'm not going to lie. Dealing with that much in my personal life, for a second i was worried how I could push through but I have soo much support from ward staff tutors, clinical nurse tutors. Family, other students and friends.

I can dread getting up in the morning but once im on the ward and seeing new things. Learning just about anything I'm more motivated and I like feeling like I'm getting more confident and like today being soo busy because of numerous admissions and discharges but working with a good team and getting everything done I felt great.

So in the long run a little wobble will probably do me good because if I can go in feeling down and come home feeling like I've learnt something and proud of myself I know it's the right career for me.

Soo busy

I have found it a little difficult to have the time to update this lately been unbelievably busy.

Not too long ago we found out the landlord was having to sell our house and so had the struggle of finding somewhere new. That would all be fine except most landlords we came in to contact with heard student and ran a mile or made assumptions, I can't tell you how frustrating it is trying to explain a secondment to someone that's never heard of it. We are finally sorted now though and moving on good Friday. It's mid- placement which isn't ideal but it's life and also means we will be living on Preston so won't be travelling as much... Hallelujah

Certain parts of my life definitely arent running smoothly at the minute, during my last placement I got news that my grandmother is terminally I'll. They estimated 2 months in October.. And she's still going, determination must run on the family.

Uni, work and placements have been great though. I started doing slightly less shifts at work a few months ago because I was tiring myself out completely. 3 days at uni and then two longdays at work followed by a weekend of housework and assignments was insane and not manageable for me. I now only to one or two short shifts at work maximum. I know some people have to do those kind shifts out of need but for me it wasn't practical and I take my hat off to anyone that manages it.

I've just had clinical skills week and it was great felt like I got loads put of it this time. Blood glucose testing, ANTT (aseptic non  touch technique), neuro obs, plus sessions with critical care, continence and pain management nurses. Than finally medications management and practice osce. My favourite was the session in the simulation suite though and practicing a-e assessments and using sample to help identify what could be causing the 'patient' to deteriorate.

A airway
B breathing
C circulation
D disability
E exposure/environment/ everything else

S signs/symptoms
A allergies
M medication
P past medical history
L last meal/ low temperature?
E events

It's my first day on the ward and I felt like I hit the ground running, nothing complicated just yet though, assisting with medication round getting to know the ward routine, obs. It was a great first day and 8 hours flew by.

I've also been assisting with student quality ambassadors from both Bolton and Uclan to promote the role throughout the hospital so that we may get involved in projects and to give a different perspective.

Delayed resolutions..

Fallen behind updating this a little bit so lets see if I can start getting back into the swing of things. I finished my first placement on a relatively busy surgical unit on the 8th January, I loved it and had a really good experience for my first placement which makes me a little nervous for my next one which is only 6 weeks away. I'm not sure where I'm going yet although I'm itching to find out. The only stress I had attached to this placement was mistakenly thinking that both me and my mentor had completed all necessary parts of my PAD document only to realise we missed a page and had a last minute dash back to the hospital and to get it handed in on time. I made and was pretty impressed with myself even though I'm sure there was steam coming out of my ears.

I PASSED though :)
I also got 68% on my developing graduate skills assignment
And got 87% overall on my anatomy and physiology module.

The next day I was treated to a few days away in London which was pure bliss for me and really recharged my batteries... and stuffed my face. And then we had two weeks off which weirdly felt like too long for me, I think i just got used to being supper busy with placement and before that exams and assignments that I didn't quite know what to do with myself, so i booked my driving theory test and once that's passed I'll hopefully be able to have a few more driving lessons and book my test. If one thing was a pain for my when it came to placement it was relying on public transport.. I was never late getting there but unfortunately the same cannot be said getting home, driving would make my life a lot simpler.

Now we are back at Uni and starting off a new module which I'm hoping will be interesting, really missed all my fellow student nurses so its been great catching up. Still shocked at how quickly times flying by.. we are back out on placement in march and by then we will be halfway through the first year. so I'm making myself  little priorities list to see if I can stay organised.

1. Revise driving theory
2. find time to do more background reading (new module will need it)
3. Help with plans to promote SQA role within the trust
4. Stop eating so much rubbish (placement was far too close to McDonald's & KFC)

Halfway through placement

So this is officially the halfway point in my first placement and as far as I'm concerned it couldn't be going any better. 

The sheer amount of knowledge and skills I have picked up is pretty amazing to me I never would've believed anyone if they told me I would be able to assist with removing drains or clips or cannulas or anything besides little dressings. My mentor and the other nurses have been so patient and informative about how to do things and why they do procedures a certain way. I feel like I could confidently explain some of them which is mad considering it's been 3 and a half weeks.

The ward is fast paced and as a staff nurse it would appear it requires a lot of multi tasking and being pretty vigilant but there is such a good team atmosphere and it's really put me at ease and brought me out of my shell although occasionally I feel like I'm asking silly obvious questions. 

Yesterday I spent the morning in theatre and found it really interesting, I watched a sentinel lymph node biopsy. The consultant was very friendly and informative. He talked me through what he was going to do and why and explained things while he was doing it. I found it really interesting actually getting to see what lymph nodes looked like as well as the layers of skin the go though. On the massive plus side I didn't knock anything over, faint or say anything really stupid (apparently not uncommon with students).

Although it was really interesting and I would definitely go back to theatre to watch other procedures given the chance. I enjoy talking to patients too much and being able to care for them when they are conscious, the theatre nurses seem like they could teach you a lot and hopefully at some point in the three years I'll have a placement there. 

I've arranged a few more spoke days as well, I'm spending a day with the infection control nurse, the case manager and a day at the beast clinic. I'm really trying to make the most of the placement and learn as much as I can. I guess because I'm enjoying the ward and the experiences it's just motivating me more to do well within the course. 

Really want to know where my next placement is too hopefully we find out soon!

Bursaries and tuition fees

Although I created this blog to really reflect on my placements and experiences while training to become a nurse and possibly after I feel like I want to share my opinion on an issue that seems to be pretty controversial at the moment

BURSARIES
Now although I don't receive one and am lucky enough to be seconded, I do know that the other members of my cohort do not receive a bursary, pay their tuition fees either independently or through loans and use said loans plus some part time work to support their families get to uni/placement ect and are managing for the most part just fine.

Let me reiterate the course structure at University of Bolton, our cohort has around 27 students. our lecturers know us well and make time to be available if we need help/ support or just to talk to them to clarify any issues. We have clinical nurse tutors (equivalent to PEFs) who visit us on placement roughly once a week to make sure we are coping and are getting the best learning opportunities we can. To me the extra support I feel like we get seems to make the tuition fees and lack of bursaries worth it. And it scrapping them means that us student nurses get this kind of support I think that's great.

However I think that if that isn't going to happen then in order to combat a recruitment crisis when it comes to student nurses never mind qualified nurses, the government are going to have to offer an incentive such as a more generous salary for nurses especially taking into account the planned rise of national minimum wage meaning that anyone over 25 will be paid at least £9 an hour by 2020... A newly qualified nurse gets roughly £21000 pa (£10.76ph). So after attending university for 3 years they will receive £1 more than the living wage. I don't think this will entice people to struggle for 3 years.

I agree that especially where my course is concerned its what people want to do so they will use student finance.. I am by no means going into nursing for the money. I have had personal circumstances which have motivated me to want to do this great career as have most people that complete degree programmes in order to become a nurse I'm sure. but in a few years time, my opinion is that there will have to be change when it comes to nurses salaries or else the backbone of then NHS is going to crumble and personally it worries me.

Making progress and feeling proud...

So I started placement on. A surgical unit two weeks ago now and it's going great, it's very different to what I'm used to and at times it's difficult because I'm unsure of routines and how things are done but my mentor and all the staff on the unit in general have been friendly and willing to show me where things are and how to do things properly. Anyone who knows me will know I'm not shy when it comes to asking questions so that probable worked in my favour a little bit. 

My first day was the most nerve wracking I think. Not knowing anyone or what to expect and obviously having worked with nurses for the past few years as a health care assistant hearing about their experiences both good and bad was colouring my opinions and expectations. The most challenging thing for me is feeling so unsure of myself almost like I'm second guessing what I'm doing quite a lot. Take for example the matron/ ward manager asking me to handover to her about the patients my team was looking after. It was pretty intimidating to me which is silly considering I've been present and contributed in countless handovers. And I needn't have been worried because she said herself I was very thorough then proceeded to get me handover most shifts. I don't mind I'm getting more comfortable with that. 

I feel like I've learnt loads in just 2 weeks and developed new skills, that on top on get my anatomy and physiology results and finding out I got 87% overall for the module (94% for the workbook and 80% for the exam) has boosted my confidence a little bit. I'm starting to organise some spoke placements for the next few weeks (day visits to related areas) so have done an application to spend a day in theatre, tried to book onto a wound care course and will be spending the day with one of the breast cancer physiotherapist next Wednesday in the pre-op clinic. 

I'm trying not to ramble on but I'm honestly enjoying feeling like I'm a step closed to being qualified and so despite being tired and busy and occasionally feeling a bit lost I'm excited to go in everydayand see  something new or different. I really hope I get this much out of all my placements.

Basic life support skills and moving & handling

So it seems like its been forever since I did a blog post, this month has been a bit non-stop preparing for my anatomy and physiology exam (thank god that's over with). I think it went quite well just purely from the fact I walked out smiling and non planning to move far far away.. I'll find out my results in two or three weeks so we will see.

At the moment we have clinical skills week before starting placement on monday, (little bit nervous). Cinical skills week is kind of like mandatory training and basic skills we will need during out first placement. So far we had moving and handling yesterday which pretty much consisted of safe techniques, and risk assessment techniques for when moving, transferring or rolling a patient. As well as how to use equipment like slide sheets, hoists and pat slides. It's training that I have had before but its always good to have a refreshers specially when different workplaces have different preferences.






Today we did basic life support techniques, and went through how to assess a patient (A-E assessment, SAMPLE, SBAR) and emergency procedures for deteriorating patients and cardiac arrests, apart from almost giving myself a black eye with the mannequins head when practising chest thrusts I'd sat it went well if not slightly embarrassing. Emergency CPR I felt fairly okay with after having training and simulations a few times now I feel like I could be a little bit more useful in that situation even if I'm just calling for help or getting the re-suss trolley.

Tomorrow after we finish I'm going over to the ward I'm on for placement to meet my mentor and have a look around which I'm pretty excited for if I'm honest. Although I can see myself getting lost at Chorley hospital, its a bit or a maze but maybe that's because I haven't worked there before.

Oh and I've been appointed a student quality ambassador and have a welcome event next week in Liverpool. Its all going great at the moment.